Sawari, Yuki

[Yuki Sawari]

Trainer Profile

Character Name: Yuki Sawari

Nickname: None Currently

Gender: Male

Age: 16

Trainer Class: Ice Master (In-Training)



Height: 5’7”

Weight: 145lbs

Hair Color & Style: White Short and Messy

Eyes: Hazel

Clothing/Accessories: Yuki generally dresses for the weather but currently, in his hometown, his most common clothing is a thick light blue coat stylishly held snug by 3 columns of buttons and a belt sewn to tie around the waist. Dark maybe blue or black colored pants with cargo style pockets filled with various things. Fur-lined snow boots and a long snowy mountain patterned scarf. If he’s out in the wilderness he often has skis and goggles.

General Appearance: Yuki is light chestnut colored boy. From the tips of his layered messy white hair to the bottoms of his toes, he looks like he might have come from somewhere almost tropic. His warming smile and pleasant attitude doesn’t help either. Yuki has a rather average physique for a boy his age. His snowy white hair and browned skin would probably be the only thing to make him stand out in a crowd. For someone whose name means ‘snow’, only his snow colored hair and hazel eyes would suggest any ties. Even behind those grey eyes there seems to be a genuine warmth about them.



(A picture of your character would go here. If you have no picture then erase this.)[/img]



Hometown:

Personality: Yuki has a generally pleasant personality. He is empathetic, kind, and endearing as a person. That being said, Yuki is a well liked individual by most people and pokemon. His mother is a pokemon breeder who specializes in ice-type pokemon and his father was a former trainer before becoming a pokemon researcher currently traveling the world to research ice-type pokemon. With parentage like that it’s no shock that Yuki has a deep love for his cold loving pokemon friends. Where people shiver and openly detest the cold, Yuki seems to become energized in it as it were a tropical beach on a sunny afternoon. Yuki generally spends his days helping his mother on the ‘ranch’ as they call it tending to ice-type pokemon while training to prepare himself to become a pokemon trainer. He has a good relationship with the pokemon on the ranch as well seeing them as part of his family rather than just domesticated pokemon. Yuki also takes great joy is cooking and particularly is proud of his pokepops he makes for his pokemon. Which is basically just a stew he makes from berries and vegetables that he freezes. Yuki’s ambition is to follow in his fathers footsteps and become a powerful pokemon trainer showing the power of his beloved ice-type pokemon. Yuki has spent time in harsh weather and situations that have matured him into someone completely capable of being independent and cheerfully brave. Yuki believes there’s good in everyone and while his heart belongs to ice-type pokemon he treats all pokemon equal. Yuki can not stand people mistreating or hurting pokemon. And while he does try to eat like a pokevegan, sadly nothing beats a roasted magikarp fillet or grilled huntail. Yuki isn’t shy of strangers and loves talking with other trainers. Everyone has a story and some of them are extremely interesting.

History:



Early Life: Yuki’s father was still a trainer for most of his childhood. So his mother and her companion, Jynx were the main constants in the household. He always remembered waking up in the morning to smell of his mother's cooking and seeing both her and jynx stirring large steel pots of food for the pokemon at the ranch. Before the sun would even fully rise he’d be in a his warm coat feeding the seel and spheals, and a certain ornery snowver that couldn’t seem to wait for the stew to cool before burning it’s mouth and making a fool of itself. When he was younger the ranch seemed much bigger like an open world filled wall to wall with all sorts of ice-pokemon from different regions. Mom’s lapras used to give him rides on its back so he could reach the ice patch on the other edge of the lake where the cloyster, dewgong and sealeo would often take their food. Strangely the sneasel were the more tame of the more lively ice-types on the ranch. They always seemed to be lazing about as if they were uninterested in the food. Ofcourse they always rushed over after they thought Yuki or his mother weren’t looking. Life was pretty good. Feed in the morning, school in the day, evening rounds, and though he was supposed to sleep in his bed he always seemed snuggled up in front of the fireplace under several wool blankets with various books scattered around him.



Early Teens-Present: Yuki’s teen years didn’t change much aside from his responsibilities on the ranch. He was doing more than feeding rounds now. Who knew how much work Mom really did all by herself, well save her pokemon helpers anyways. Yuki’s father returned for about two years before accepting a research job. He was gone most of the time. Only returning for holidays and a few weeks between sites. Yuki never felt like his father wasn’t around though. He’d often call or send things from his trips. Yuki and his father would talk about his father's old days as a trainer and what life was like out in the world. Yuki’s father helped teach his son how to battle and capture pokemon but using the ranch pokemon for training wasn’t the same as the real thing. While his father was away his mother helped train Yuki with her pokemon, which lead to Yuki a pretty well versed rookie. Yuki’s pokemon journey was about to begin in just a few short days. He was worried his mother wasn’t going to be able to handle all the work but apparently Jynx and Mom quote ‘has this covered’. Now he gets ready to set off on his own journey, where it takes him is unknown but it’s sure to be an adventure cliche nonetheless.

Inventory

Dians: 1,000



Items:

5x Pokéball



Key Items:

PokéDex

Journal

Holocaster

• Town Map

Trainer Advancement

Advancement Points: 0

Tier 0:

Pokemon

Total EXP Gained: 0

Pokemon
Spheal Caught at Level 5 Nickname: n/a Gender: Male Type: Ice/Water Ability: Thick Fat Height: 2’ 7” Weight: 87.1 lbs Health: Intermediate EXP Rate: Medium Slow EXP Gauge: (#/#) EXP Gained: 0 Level: 5 Division: D9 Total Stats: 50 Attack: 8 (%) Defense: 12 (%) Sp. Attack: 14 (%) Sp. Defense: 12 (%) Speed: 4 (8%) Vitamins Used: None	Moveset:MoveSet 1. Defense Curl 1. Growl 1. Powder Snow 1. Water Gun 5. Rollout Unique Moves: - - - - Item:

SPOILER: Click to show

{Spoiler}{PC Box: Stored Pokemon}(NONE)

Journal

Adventure Log said:

Adventure Log goes in here

[vartio]

Hello Yuki, I apologize it's taken the moderation team so long to get around to your profile. You'll be the second profile I review. As with everyone, I'm going to start with the negatives (sorry!), then give you my opinion on the positives and how you can improve from there!

My first question: Why is your character's hair white? He isn't an albino, his eyes are hazel instead of red and he has 'light chestnut' skin (if this isn't what you meant, that's how it reads! I'm sorry!). Does he use hair dye? Does he have some sort of disease? I'd very much appreciate it if you went over this in your character's description! Also what does "hazel" (a shade of greenish brown) have to do with "Snow" (Yuki)? (Of note, Hazel is not gray!)

Also you bought it up, but what DOES your character wear for areas other than his hometown? A majority of your topics most likely not be in his hometown (which you have left blank!), so we'd like to know exactly what he would wear in all different sorts of weather!

Note - please remove the section about the picture if you lack a picture!

As for your character's personality: listing that he has a 'generally pleasant' personality feels excessive when immediately after you mention WHY he's 'generally pleasant'. The bits about his parents feel like bits of history explaining his personality, rather than his personality explaining who he is. The bits about him training with the ice-types to become a trainer are a perfect example of bits that feel like history being placed in personality!

As for the history: I want to know more about your character's social life! You go over so much of his life at home, but you don't really go over his school life, social interactions, etc! How did others view him? How did he view others? What sort of friends did he have?

The teen section reads a little roughly, it feels like you're saying a question at one point when referring to how much Yuki's mother did, then shifted away to a statement. This completely disturbs the pace of the sentence and makes it harder to read. The end of your history reads roughly, stopping and going abruptly, and disrupting the whole pacing of the whole paragraph. This is exascerbated by your sudden changes from past tense to present tense during the last few sentences!

For your pokemon: well, let's open with the first question: Do you call your pet dog "Dog"? In the same way, that is what you're doing with Spheal. You're calling your Spheal "Spheal", and that seems degrading. Imagine if someone called you "human", for example! Not having a nickname is a possibility, but for someone who loves his pokemon, it feels a little awkward, don't you think?

Second off: The EXP Gauge. Your Pokemon's EXP gauge is read as (X/Y), where X is the EXP needed for level 5, and Y is the EXP needed for level 6. Please use the EXP Table to input the proper values.

Also for your stats, you do not need to list (%) for every stat, only the ones that are listed with numbers in the Pokedex!

The Random spoiler by the way is offputting and excessive, and should be cleared out.

Now let's get into the kicker: I honestly feel like you have a wonderful basis for a character, but that he's one-dimensional. The only dimension you have on his personality is the effects of home. There's no effects from the outside world, including but not limited to school. I want to know more about how he met his Spheal (although this can be your beginning topic!), what sort of relationship they have. His relationship with other pokemon. I want to know so much more and it feels like there's nothing there for me to grasp, and that's saying how interested I am in your character!